To the Secretary,
I have recently discovered a small islet which I have decided to name after you. Do not take this the wrong way—I find these islets all the time, and take upon myself the responsibility of naming those that are unregistered. It's a difficult duty. I sometimes feel the need to borrow names from other places if I am unable to come up with something appropriate on the spot. Actually, I drew yours out of a hat.
The question I have for you is, is it "The Secretary", or just "Secretary"? I would also like to know if you prefer that "Secretary" not be capitalized.
I think you would like this islet. It has a lovely wooden tower built in the middle where you could sit and open letters. There are also some rather interesting specimens of wild grasses. I have been composing a sonnet about them, and will deliver it you upon its completion, together with several samples of dried plant matter.
Please send your reply by tern as soon as possible. If no terns are available, a puffin will do, as I am spending the summer in arctic waters. I find that excess heat bothers me and makes it hard for me to think.
Sketch by Caniri Saar