The dimensions of my room are difficult to measure. Bringing in a yardstick is awkward due to the fact that my room is completely filled with pillows, but it's pretty big. The pillows vary in stiffness but all have nice clean, white cases. My room was created without foresight and is therefore filled with a number of kludges to prevent accidents. First, pillows impede the overhead lights, making the room quite dark, and so a large quantity of flashlights have been distributed throughout. Because the flashlights eventually run out of batteries, a large quantity of batteries can also be found in between the pillows. These flashlights and batteries naturally want to fall down the cracks to the floor, so they're tied to the ceiling by strings of different lengths. It would also be easy to suffocate inside my room, so air is pumped in through a network of rubber tubes. The air is cooled to combat the insulating quality of the pillows, but it doesn't help enough; my room is very hot. Someone put some folding fans in alongside the batteries and flashlights, but I can't imagine anyone could wield one successfully in there. Finally, the pillows end up being really heavy, but if you go to the top to avoid this, you get to the region of pillows that are right near the ceiling lights and it's excruciatingly hot up there and potentially on fire. To solve this problem, a series of wooden beams have been installed to brace some of the weight. To prevent a head injury from one of these beams, one should find one of the many orange hardhats which are supposed to be near the entrance.
The room would be based around the premise that it must double as a
one-room art gallery. Indeed, it would be disguised as one. Everything from
the kitchen appliances to the toilet and the the bathroom mirror would be
disguised as artwork - paintings, sculptures, conceptual pieces.
The mattress of the bed would slide out from under the table, the toilet
would be disguised as a white egg-like sculpture which would open like a
hinge, displaying the seat at the lower half and the upper half containing
shelves with toilet paper and the toilet-paper dispenser. The mirror would
be made of that glass that is transparent like a window, but when an
electrical current is passed through it, it becomes a mirror. Behind it
would be a painting or illustration of a calming nature, and the button to
enable the electricity would be just below it, so that until the person
needed to use the mirror, it would appear to be a well-framed work of art.
The bathroom would have a hidden sliding door which could separate the
bathroom from the rest of the apartment. The sink would be disguised as
some sort of table or sculpture, and the shower would be concealed behind a
The Kitchen would be similarly concealed, the fridge, stove, and cabinets concealed beneath artistic shells and 2D artwork. All other furniture would similarly be concealed. The lights would be suspended on wires stretching from wall to wall, floodlighting each region of the room, like an art gallery illumination.
The bathroom walls would be painted a warm, yet inoffensive color. The area of the room with the bed would be a warm orange, or a bold red. the kitchen would be white.
The artwork itself would not be unlike the Oyster Squadron website. A lot of simple black and white caligraphic strokes, with some boldly-colored pieces interspersed throughout to make the room pop. There would be a floor-to-ceiling artistic rendering of Nina Hagen in one part of the apartment, black/white/red/yellow. It would be a minimalist, absurdist, modern punk apartment. Any exposed plumbing would be painted a bright, bold red or similarly popping color, depending upon where the piping was situated.
The floor would be either concrete or wood paneling, painted white or grey or something which fit the walls.
My room is a train tunnel.